Do you still have your period?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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