I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
