If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
