Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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