i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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