Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize