ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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