oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You can't special order awesome
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
