Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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