I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
