whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
