Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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