see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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