What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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