Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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