you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
