omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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