I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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