i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
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Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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