singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
