i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are we still banned from the library?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
