we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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