I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the raccoons are back...
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