Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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