I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
