i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
