The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
