she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
