He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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