so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
