what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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