Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
