Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
