we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
