that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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