but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize