if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
