dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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