The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
