if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize