Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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