i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
