so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
