Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
