Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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