my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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