So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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