bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
