we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
