She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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