just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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