Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
