:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
