tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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