just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
