You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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