Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
