Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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