i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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