he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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