I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
