I want to have your abortion
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
