i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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