You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Randomize