It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
